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While some of us make choices one way or the other about how we choose to identify based in what we are accustomed to, varying factions of us splinter off and lay identity stakes in the ground essentially declaring whether we are with funding streams or against them. While each position has its own design and destiny, many of our gifted young folk are dropping out of school, being handed their first cup of wine by the time they're eleven, or are committing suicide having noone who understands them in the interim.

PROTECTING EUROCENTRIC TRADITION VS. KICKING THE HABIT

With all there is to do, some of us work briskly alongside certain White "gays and lesbians" to assess how to label what is glaringly logical “radical.” They work as officers of the status quo to strengthen, fortify, and support Eurocentric ideologies and terminologies that - after all – must be protected as they are emblazoned across pre-bought stationary.

If I for one am fortunate to be labeled as such, I am safe on third with no batters out. My needs are met knowing that the critical agitation and intellect of radicals won all of us the legal right to learn to read, write, get paid for our work, receive employment sick-time, holiday-pay and myriad other benefits. I'm in great company.

But, I also understand the hardship involved in identity development. My own transformation from being “gay,” to being “a lesbian” to “Same Gender Loving” was akin to the anguish of quitting smoking, and I know kicking the habit is just as challenging for others. In my case, I came to realize that to kick it, and emerge to a state of being “Same Gender Loving” also meant “coming all the way home” to my cultural center. I was now compelled to ostensibly state aloud my more profound trust in the aims of many Black intra-race bigots vs. the widespread practice of trusting, racist, exclusionary White "progressive" and gay and lesbian conventions. This is not to suggest that all White “gays” and "progressives" are racist, but racist attitudes among both are disgustingly prevalent (I don't mention conservatives here avoiding the risk of stating the obvious).

HOW WE ARE SEEN

In discussions I have enjoyed of late, I am reminded of the terribly unwelcoming conditions with which one is met when making this huge “coming out” decision. Thousands of us recount stories of cliquish walls, ceilings, linoleum and closed doors blocking one’s “coming out” trail. They are judged depending upon their look, whether they are deemed worthy, whether they had a car, were considered presentable, and-or whether they are speaking the socio-political language of the unwelcoming committee.

In the meantime, Euro-interests certainly see strong Black Same Gender Loving movements having the potential to mesh with wider Black, Brown and progressive communities –again – lunging us forth in ways we had not dreamed (and have not visualized). I argue that even recent oppressive developments in New York were meant to counteract the Feds view of thousands of Black people partying on a beach for New York’s “Black Pride Celebration" who were masquerading as a gathering Black threat in their eyes. My point being, if we realized how our cultural solidarity is our salvation to the extent they do – we would run for the hills from our present models.

‘COMING HOME’ VS. ‘COMING OUT’

In my article “If Life Springs From Birth, Healing is the Single Mother of Progress,” (http://www.e-kick.org/howcott.htm) I mention exposing “the moral bankruptcy of ‘mainstream LGBT institutions’ that sashay’ around wealth-sharing concepts and reject the few of us who are unapologetically Black, proud, and question their conduct.”

There will be little substantive wealth sharing to be had from White led progressive and-or “LGBT” funding sources who will only provide to their assistants committed to promoting continuing fun. Fun is good when balanced with facilitating strict advancement.

In her article, Taking Back the Black Gay Movement, Jasmyne Cannick has laid out much criticism and expressed deep frustration regarding White gays and lesbians strategizing to organize in Black communities and their Black agents who she accuses steal intellectual and socio-political property for self or Euro-advancement. My agreeable point includes a caveat. True, there is no such thing as an authentic comrade who would suck up our thoughts and ideas as if they were their own. But, there is also no progress to be found in identifying with the racial and-or organizational culture that would have that happen in the first place.

While versions of these debates rage on decade after decade, they are however unwitting star-trekian cloaking devices for many of us who will fight to be "LGBT," but are un-inspired to step into a street-trench and map out enhancements toward the quality of life of our truly disenfranchised sistah’s and brotha’s.

I further argue that the masses of our community are being deeply ignored while Euro-interests lead us to the temptation of pointing fingers at Black “homophobia” as the sole cause of our wretched difficulties and continuing to claim their cultural framework. This ongoing neglecting to shine a light on the comprehensive nature of our condition is akin to colonizing processes, and results from dominators who leave us believing our special-ness is discrete rather than a distinct outcome of our Blackness.

We are all brilliant and stable enough to accept the news that we are a part of our own problem. I therefore promote that our roadmap to full acceptance should be our evolving from notions of “Coming Out” to the idea of “Coming Home” unto our cultural selves. I continue to insist that to be Black and also "gay" is much the oxymoron. A thorough study and living out our cultural realities would provide a super-enhanced trust and trustworthiness for which many of us are longing.

I’m not talking about being trusted to promote an event, organize a celebration or the perpetual expectation that some of us are experts at throwing great parties. I’m talking about a kind of deep integrity and truth telling that can’t be found in a title, and won’t keep one popular for long – but intermingles with the constancy and fitness of one’s word and a commitment to a much higher calling.

That process of “Coming Home” would give us the strength to shake the scent of closet mothballs abound. It would help us hear that calling more clearly, and develop the motivation to expose the whole “elephant in the living room” rather than - much like an illegal poacher - associating merely with its rich, lavish ivory tusks.

Terry Howcott is a Master of Social Work, activist, thinker, speaker, and your host at terryhowcott.com. She can be reached at terryhowcott@terryhowcott.com